I don’t even know if this counts as writer’s block.
It feels like it. I’m bloated with ideas and an enthusiasm to share them. However, try as I might, there is an obstinate cork comfortably secured at the neck of my vessel. I can’t get it out. I simply don’t know where to start, or how to organise what I offer. It’s as though I’m over-inspired. I’m a deer caught between the blinding headlights of the blank screen with the incessantly blinking cursor. I feel like there’s something about the way the cursor flashes only when it is stationary that mocks the rate at which I’m typing.
What I know for sure is that my imagination is aroused and similarly, my desire to write has been piqued. I wonder what the great writers whose work I’ve encountered would advise me in this instance. What would Wilbur Smith say to offer comfort? Perhaps something unassuringly simple like “just start” or “trust your instinct.”
Instead, the advise I’d love to receive would be from the prophet Isiah. I want to write like the prophet Isiah. Notably, the life led by Isiah was one of absolute submission to the will of God. Isiah’s encounter with the splendor and holiness of God changed the course of his service and life’s work. But he could not be commissioned before the lesser version of himself died when the searing coal touched his unclean lips. And if Isiah’s hefty contribution to old testament scripture is anything to go by, he’s the right person to help me to overcome the fear of the blank page.
I wake up daily feeling as though an outdated version of myself is wrestling for relevance with the woman I am becoming. There is no question as to which version of me will emerge the victor. I have a favourite, and I’ve placed my bets on her.
– Lele M
Lele Muthali 