10.11.24
They sat in a deliberate silence at the dinner table as the flames of six candles danced in mock romance, illuminating the tension beneath the surface of the air around them. She spoke first.
“Regarding last night’s conversation,” she ventured, not entirely sure how she would end the sentence.
“Even though I think I might be developing feelings for you, I understand and respect what you’re looking for in a relationship.”
She glanced around the room and her eyes fell on the clock on the far side of the kitchen: 19h27, it reported. Soon, he would have to leave the dinner table, as he always did for his daily commitment at 20h00.
“My feelings won’t change our dynamic,” she promised earnestly. It was an honest lie. One she repeated even to herself, as if donning a mask hoping that her face would grow to fit it.
He chewed quietly as she paused. Though she did not look at him, she knew his expression was inscrutible. She knew he would offer nothing, so she went on.
“I’m enjoying what we have,” she declared as she stared into the bowl in front of her and rearranged some mushrooms with her fork. “If at any point I feel that it’s not right for me, I’ll be honest and take a step back.”
“So, there’s nothing to worry about,” she said with finality, as if the words alone were enough to avert the danger.
“I’m fully here for things as they are.”
Her tongue carried the words with difficulty, and both goose and gander heard the truth.
-Lele
Lele Muthali 