adult – Lele Muthali

Duty

19.7.25

You said you could not live

under duty again —

not to any woman,

not in love.

As if love were a weight,

As if love could bind.

You know as well as I

that love is rhythm.

A remembering.

I watched you remember

every day—

In how you fed the animals,

spoke to the flame,

carried silences,

answered your mother’s voice.

In how you held the past

without flinching.

In the way

you moved

as if everything

was sacred.

You live by ritual.

You live by duty.

Walking beside you,

I saw how much of you was already given,

And I saw duty in letting go.

-Lele

To the Cook

18.7.25

“I tell you what,” he said jokingly as he wiped his lip. “In my next life, I’m gonna be a cook.”

May the salt still leap to your fingers,
the flame still obey your breath,
and the cumin still bloom at your touch.

You always said you’d return as a cook—
knowing you were one in this life too,
as charming as you were exacting.

Experimental in love as in spice.

You honoured my ‘alien’ ways,
crafted meals like devotions,
each plate a vow
to make me feel you.

You fed with intention—
my longing to be tended to
gently, joyfully,
by one who delights in the offering.

If you return—
I’ll know you
by your hands,
your laughter,
and the way you make a kitchen
feel like home.

“And?” he asked through a smile with his eyebrows raised quizzically, already knowing the answer. “How’s your meal?”

She chewed the bite-full of the mushroom thoughtfully, also already knowing the answer but enjoying the game nonetheless. “Hm, I love this. It’s great!”

“No,” came his casually satisfied reply. “It’s fucking awesome.”

-Lele

The Goose-Gander Fallacy

10.11.24

They sat in a deliberate silence at the dinner table as the flames of six candles danced in mock romance, illuminating the tension beneath the surface of the air around them. She spoke first.

“Regarding last night’s conversation,” she ventured, not entirely sure how she would end the sentence.

“Even though I think I might be developing feelings for you, I understand and respect what you’re looking for in a relationship.”

She glanced around the room and her eyes fell on the clock on the far side of the kitchen: 19h27, it reported. Soon, he would have to leave the dinner table, as he always did for his daily commitment at 20h00.

“My feelings won’t change our dynamic,” she promised earnestly. It was an honest lie. One she repeated even to herself, as if donning a mask hoping that her face would grow to fit it.

He chewed quietly as she paused. Though she did not look at him, she knew his expression was inscrutible. She knew he would offer nothing, so she went on.

“I’m enjoying what we have,” she declared as she stared into the bowl in front of her and rearranged some mushrooms with her fork. “If at any point I feel that it’s not right for me, I’ll be honest and take a step back.”

“So, there’s nothing to worry about,” she said with finality, as if the words alone were enough to avert the danger.

“I’m fully here for things as they are.”

Her tongue carried the words with difficulty, and both goose and gander heard the truth.

-Lele

Honey

16.10.24

While I respect your position, I tend to differ.

And I’m predisposed to getting attached.

It might be because I’m socialised to prefer that arrangement, or it might be my experience in past relationships

(neither exclusively good nor exclusively bad),

it might be naivety, it might be something more Eternal.

I’m not looking to sway you though. I understand where you’re coming from.

I’m just contending with whether it could work for me.

– Lele